


Jack Kerouac

by CantSpeakFae



Series: The Scars Souvenir [26]
Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Missing Scene, Written from Xander's P.O.V
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-08
Updated: 2019-04-08
Packaged: 2020-01-06 21:54:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,702
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18397097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CantSpeakFae/pseuds/CantSpeakFae
Summary: It’s bad enough that he knows he’s the dumbest guy in Sunnydale - he can’t imagine havin’ to tell all of his friends that he couldn’t get into a single college.





	Jack Kerouac

_**Sunnydale, pre-graduation**_  
  
 _"Dear Mr. Harris,_  
  
 _We regret to inform you that we are not able to offer you admission into the University of California, Sunnydale. As you probably know, we look into each application as a whole. Admission decisions are based on a composite of information including your previous academic performance, extracurriculars, performance in your community, and your testing scores. Unfortunately, your application did not meet the standards of -"_  
  
Xander stopped reading after that point, fingers tensed like he might suddenly snap and tear the rejection letter into confetti. It’s his sixth rejection letter and from the school that was his “go-for-broke” choice: their local university.   
  
Not that U.C Sunnydale was a bad school. It’s not, he’s actually heard some pretty good things about it and its programs, but… well, until now, he’d been under the impression that everyone who applied was automatically accepted which was why he’d saved it for last and tried the out-of-town schools first, out of the pressing curiosity to know if he had any chance of hell of getting into a real school. Turns out, he didn’t. And he couldn’t even get into a /fake/ one, because odds were that U.C Sunnydale is just an extension of the high school in that you mill through, thinking life is moving along when you’re actually just being held in place for demons to come and snack on ya. He shouldn’t even be disappointed that he didn’t get in, right? If it’s just another ant farm…  
  
But he is.   
  
He is disappointed because now he knows for certain that he’s not smart enough to go to college. Before, when he hadn’t even been planning on applying, it’d been his choice. Now, he’s just pathetic… and really, really glad that he hadn’t told anyone he was applying. It’s bad enough that he knows he’s the dumbest guy in Sunnydale - he can’t imagine havin’ to tell all of his friends that he couldn’t get into a single college.   
  
“Oh, hello, Xander.”   
  
Shit.   
  
Xander jumps and does crumple his rejection letter in his fist. Man, he thought opening it in here during lunchtime would be /safe/ because even Giles steps out for food. But, here he is, dancing back in all unannounced and scaring the bejesus out of him.   
  
“Giles! G-man! G-na-roonie!” Xander calls, nearly tipping back out of his chair. “Fancy seeing you here? Whatcha doing?”   
  
Giles shoots him a puzzled look. “Er, I’m, I’m hoping to read more into this, this Ascension business. What are you doing here? I thought you’d be out to lunch with, erm, the rest?”   
  
Oh, yeah. That sounds great. He’s sure they’re all getting their letters back from colleges, too, only they probably got into at least one of them and they’re going to all be /talking/ about it and he’ll just be the lone, weird guy with no future. He swallows hard.  
  
“Uh, yeah! I was just going to head out and meet them at our lunch spot, but I uh… I needed uh… a book.”   
  
Giles blinks, rapidly, like he’s not sure he really heard the words come from Xander’s mouth. And honestly, Xander’s not sure he said those words, either. It just slipped out cause what else would he be doing in here? So, he coughs and continues.  
  
“Yeah, a book. Y’know, cause this is a library?”   
  
“Ah, yes. Yes, of course. What book did you need?”   
  
Oh, shit. He has to know of a book. Okay, think Xander. Think.   
  
“...You got anything for any future-less, no-smarts havin’ boys who aren’t going to college?” He asks, brightly, trying to turn his issue into a joke but maybe it’s a little too honest because Giles doesn’t laugh.   
  
“I see,” He says, pulling off his glasses and wiping at them with the hem of his shirt. “Yes, I imagine this must be a, um, difficult time for you… everyone’s getting their acceptance letters, yes?”   
  
Yeah, that’s a big-time yes. Xander just shrugs, though.  
  
“I’m not feelin’ left out or anything, G. I didn’t wanna go to college, anyway. I’m just uh, hoping there’s a third option between higher education and fast food worker. I was thinking, maybe I’d… take a trip. See life outside of Sunnydale.”   
  
Wow, not a bad idea for a thought he just had.   
  
“Hm,” Giles says, thinking about it. “I think that’s a good idea. Nothing wrong with taking a year between to uh, find yourself.”   
  
“Are you talking to me as the school librarian, now, or as the guy who dropped out of school and spent a few years in an electric kool-aid demon summoning orgy group?  
  
Giles shoots him a look. “That’s hardly the point… I was also trying to get my band to take off.”  
  
“Oh, right.”   
  
“I’m, I’m serious, though. It’s good to erm, find out who you are outside of education. Many of your erm, friends will be in for quite a culture shock when they come out the other side and no longer that safety net. Even I who, yes, had experience living on my own and doing /things/ was terribly surprised by what California had in store for me. Let me see if I can -”   
  
He darts off, then, leaving Xander to sit by himself for a few minutes, thinking that over. Giles is actually onboard with his idea? Then it might actually be a good one.  
  
“Here it is!” Giles calls, coming back down from the stacks. “I think you’ll quite like this.”   
  
“What is it?” Xander asks, leaning forward to get a better look.  
  
“It ah, called ‘On The Road’, it’s by an author called Jack Kerouac. It’s, it’s about ah, road trips through America taken by the author. Experiences in the culture and life of the world around them. I think it’ll, it’ll be what you were looking for.”   
  
Xander reaches out and takes it, surprised that Giles had been able to find something so on the money for him.   
  
“Wow. Giles, I uh… thanks! Yeah, can I check this out.”   
  
“Ah… why don’t you just take it?” Giles suggests, with a small smile. “Keep it. I can always order another one. Consider it an early graduation gift from me.”  
  
“Really?”   
  
“Yes, really.”   
  
Xander holds the book close, oddly touched. And, since he’s feelin’ sappy, he swings hard in the other direction and goes for funny to lighten the mood. “Ya know, in any other circumstance, a book would be the worst present ever.”   
  
Giles chuckled at that. “Yes, I never would have imagined picking one out for you… but, why don’t you go and find the others before lunch is over? I’m afraid we’ll have quite a lot of work still ahead of us in regards to the, the Ascension.”   
  
“A free book and an easy out of helping you research during lunch? I feel so loved.” Xander says, with one last grin, before he bolts out of the library, with a book he’s actually excited to start reading.   
  


* * *

  
 _ **Sunnydale, present**_  
  
“Xander, are you really sure about this?”   
  
“Already got the car packed, Will. No going back, now.”   
  
“You could unpack it. It’d be easy. I could even help.” Willow said, her voice small, as she leaned against the side of the monster that he’d bought off of his Uncle, her arms folded over her chest and her lips pressed into a pout.   
  
“No go, Will. Tony is already thrilled that I’m heading out of here. I can’t imagine how dead I’d be if I waltzed back in and said ‘psyche’.” Xander said, slamming the trunk shut and looking over at her. “Besides, you’re in for Summers Summer fun à la The Slayer. Buffster is sticking around, this year, isn’t she?”   
  
“Yeah, but you’re not. And, and we’ve never spent a whole summer away from each other, before. We’ve always hung out. It’s practically a tradition.”   
  
“It’s only a tradition if it’s done voluntarily, Will. We didn’t have any other choice but to hang. Not that I wouldn’t have chosen to, every time, but this is the one time that I’m choosing the open road and leaving you to the tender lovin’ care of whatever you and Buffy are going to do. I’m guessing a little slay and a lotta party, since she did kill a big ol’ demon a week ago and is out of Watchers to tell her what to do.”   
  
Willow’s pout deepens, and then she sighs.  
  
“Well, when are you coming back?”   
  
“After I have driven to every one of our fifty states,” Xander said, proudly. “I’ve had a lotta near-death experiences, Willow, in my life and most of them in the last three. I figure anymore and I’m bound to face the final frontier.”   
  
“...Space?”   
  
“No, death.”   
  
“I think that’d be the final destination.”   
  
“...Either way,” Xander said, clapping his hands together once. “If I’m doomed to die on this Hellmouth, then I want to see the world first. Giles gave me a map, Buffy loaded me with weapons. All I needed is a hug from my bestest Willow-shaped friend and I can hit the road, Jack.”   
  
“And if I don’t give you the hug, you won’t leave?”   
  
“Well, no.” Xander said, shaking his head. “But I’d leave really, really, really sad.”   
  
Willow thought about that for a second… and then finally relented, flinging herself forward to hug him tight, so tightly that the air almost permanently leaves his lungs and he coughs.   
  
“Okay, easy! Breaking my spine to keep me from road tripping is foul play!”   
  
“Oops. Sorry.” Willow said, loosening up a bit. “It’s just that I'm going to miss you so much! Promise you’ll call me whenever you can? And, and don’t drive at night if you can avoid it! And send me postcards and, and, and…”   
  
“Easy, Willow. I’ll be back, I promise. I’m not driving to my doom. I’m driving away from it. That’s the plan.”   
  
Willow sniffles and nods. “Just come home safe, alright?”   
  
“You know I will.”   
  
Willow unwillingly steps away from his car, giving him passage to climb on in and he gives her a cheery wave.  
  
“Give my love to Buff, alright?”   
  
“I will!”   
  
And then he’s off. Just him and the road ahead.

**Author's Note:**

> This is the last fic in this series! Thanks for reading.


End file.
